On Tuesday, someone got shot on a bus down the road, a bomb threat evacuated the union, and we had our own little end of the world party in my apartment.
What’s the world coming to?
Empirical data suggests that world’s not really ‘coming’ to anything. Crime is lower than it’s ever been. We’re just in a heightened state of vigilance, constantly bombarded by updates from the media circus that exists to remind us that we should be afraid of everything because it can and will kill us.
Okay I couldn’t resist the pun: the world’s ‘coming’ to some pretty disturbing things. If you haven’t seen this already, I highly recommend the data on Eastern Europe and Northern Africa.
Personally, I’m just curious as to how a population collectively develops such a specific fetish. Sociology senior thesis, anyone?
But I digress.
LifeProTip for anyone listening:
- You feel like a million bucks - or at the very least, you’ll feel like 90 dollars worth of H&M gift cards.
- You start carrying yourself differently, changing your posture to look a little less like a slack-jawed creeper in a hooded sweatshirt and something closer to an approximation of the adult you’re supposed to be.
- People automatically assume you’re important and treat you better. Why exactly this happens is open to debate, but the effect itself is undeniable.
- The positive energy you start broadcasting will make a difference in your interactions with people.
- Whatever you’re wearing becomes an instant conversation starter. This is NOT an invitation to break out the novelty ties.
If you can take the hit to your faith in humanity, Zazzle actually has some truly horrific creations. Check out their rageface ties and tell me you can’t imagine some poor bastard thinking about wearing one to his high school prom for the ironic humor value.
All rules were made to be broken though, including the one above, and if you think you can rock one of those little virginity protectors, more power to you.
So what was my novel experience, my 2/20? Those of you familiar enough with me would know that suiting up for no reason doesn’t exactly count. Even at home, you’re far more likely to find me in a suit and tie than a hoodie and sweatpants.
Well, at least once in your academic career, you need to lift your nose from the grindstone of your fingers on the keyboard and tell yourself to relax. That you can blow off a class, an assignment, or even an exam. It won’t kill you.
It won’t kill you.
Realize that you’re never going to get a high enough GPA to not die.
Realize that you’re never going to make enough money to not die.
Life is short. If you should ever forget it, the news does a great job of reminding us that we’re here today, gone tomorrow. Remember Boston. Remember Sean Collier. Remember the billions that weren’t fortunate enough to be where you are today. Sometimes you need to drop everything and just exist.
And with temperatures pushing 80, Oval Beach in full swing, and a marketing exam in 90 minutes that I hadn’t studied for, that’s exactly what I did.
Carpe that fucking diem.